The World’s 10 Most Successful Men That Didn’t Grow Up

What young boy truly wants to grow up? The responsibilities of manhood simply can’t compare to the joyful exuberance of youth. Still, with great success comes great reward, providing incredibly successful men with the ability to not just succumb to Peter Pan Syndrome, but to actually create their own Never Never Land (think Michael Jackson). Unfortunately though, refusal to grow up does have its disadvantages, in that “modern” society does not always look favorably upon such behavior. This is precisely the problem facing the 35-year-old teenager at the center of the comedy series Man-Teen. It is and/or was the same dilemma facing the men occupying this list of The World’s 10 Most Successful Men That Didn’t Grow Up – but obviously, they found a way to make it work.

10. Jefri Bolkiah

Prince Jefri Bolkiah – the youngest, so-called “playboy” brother of the Sultan of Brunei, Hassan al Bolkiah (one of the wealthiest men in the world) – is the former owner of the New York Palace Hotel and the Hotel Bel-Air in Beverly Hills and has a reputation for flamboyant excess, including a private Boeing 747, a large art collection including works by Manet and Renoir, at least twenty-one works by Degas, a collection of 2,000 luxury cars, a number of properties around the globe, businesses such as the luxury goods manufacturer Asprey, and a yacht named Tits (which, naturally, came with lifeboats named Nipple 1 and Nipple 2).

The 55-year-old prince is currently at the center of a blockbuster real estate trial unfolding in Manhattan Supreme Court. Bolkiah is suing two ex-financial advisers, Thomas Derbyshire and his wife, Zaman, saying they bilked him when they sold his 23-room Sunninghill estate on Long Island’s North Shore for $11 million. The prince argues the property was worth much more, but that is irrelevant compared to evidence the judge recently ruled off-limits – his four sex trophies.

The statues, which were stored at the estate, are lifelike recreations of the prince – a longtime pal of late pop star Michael Jackson (birds of a feather freak together) – making love to his fiancée. Photographs of the pieces show an endowed, muscular prince in a series of sexual positions with the woman, one of many at his beck and call. Bolkiah has multiple wives and a harem of lovelies. But then again, what good man-teen doesn’t?

Prince Jefri, who served as finance minister of his oil-rich country from 1986 to 1998 and once headed the Brunei Investment Agency, was cut off from the tiny oil-rich nation after his brother accused him of embezzling $15 billion. That set off a long feud between the Sultan and his youngest brother, whose sexual shenanigans were spotlighted in “My Life In A Harem,” a book written by a stripper who dropped out of NYU to join Prince Jefri’s stable of beauties, which at times has included a former Miss USA, a future Miss USA, a former Miss Teen USA, and a Miss United Kingdom runner up. (I wonder if she ever got the chance to finish first?)

Prince Jefri’s full name is His Royal Highness Pengiran Digadong Sahibul Mal Pengiran Muda Jefri Bolkiah ibni Al-Marhum Sultan Haji Omar Ali Saifuddien Sa’adul Khairi Waddien.

9. Gary Coleman

Not only did the late Gary Coleman never learn to act like an adult, he LITERALLY never grew up.

The pint-sized actor, who won America’s heart and became a pop culture icon spitting out catch phrases like “Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” on the television show Diff’rent Strokes (1977 – 1986), never managed (much like his fellow child co-stars) to adapt to post-celebrity life. He successfully sued his parents for mismanagement of his assets in 1989 but was still forced to file for bankruptcy in 1999. A year prior to declaring himself bankrupt, while working as a security guard, Coleman was arrested and charged with assault after punching a woman who requested his autograph. This did not prevent him, however, from running for Governor of California in 2003 (a race that another actor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, famously won).

In early 2007, Coleman met Shannon Price, 22, on the set of the film Church Ball, where she was working as an extra, and the two married several months later. On May 1 and 2, 2008, they made a well-publicized appearance on the show Divorce Court to air their differences in an attempt to save their marriage. Nevertheless, they divorced in August 2008, citing irreconcilable differences, following Price’s arrest for domestic violence. That’s right, folks. Gary got his butt kicked by a girl.

Click here to watch WHAT YOU TALKIN’ ABOUT WILLIS?

Coleman’s chronic financial problems were ironically made worse by the same medical condition (focal segmental glomerulosclerosis – an autoimmune kidney disease) that made him a giant 4′ 8″ star, and compelled him, at times, to resort to unusual fundraising activities. In 2008, for example, he auctioned an autographed pair of his pants on eBay to help pay medical bills. The auction attracted considerable attention, including fake bids up to $400,000. The pants were eventually bought for $500 by comedian Jimmy Kimmel, who famously hung them from the rafters of his television studio.

Gary Coleman, who was ranked first on VH1′s list of “100 Greatest Child Stars”, was hospitalized in January 2010 after a seizure in Los Angeles. In February, he suffered another seizure on the set of The Insider television program. Then, on May 26, 2010, Coleman was admitted to Utah Valley Regional Medical Center in Provo, Utah in critical condition after falling down the stairs at his home in Santaquin and hitting his head, possibly after another seizure, and suffering an epidural hematoma. He died two days later.

8. Mike Tyson

Michael Gerard Tyson was the undisputed heavyweight-boxing champion from 1987 – 1990 and still holds the record as the youngest boxer to win the WBC, WBA and IBF world heavyweight titles. The model of the supreme gladiator, Tyson was unbeaten and unbeatable. Nicknamed “Iron Mike,” “Kid Dynamite” and “The Baddest Man on the Planet,” he won his first 19 professional bouts by knockout, with twelve of them occurring in the first round. One of the most frightening human beings to ever step foot in the ring, Tyson captured the attention of the world via boxing like no man before him except Muhammad Ali. Hard to believe, but, his life outside the ring was as engrossing as his life in it.

A short-lived marriage to actress Robin Givens was followed by a catalogue of personal misfortune that ultimately resulted in Tyson losing his world championship titles to 42-to-1 underdog Buster Douglas on February 11, 1990, in Tokyo, Japan. He was convicted of sexually assaulting Desiree Washington in 1992, for which he served three years in prison. After being released from prison in 1995, he engaged in a series of comeback fights. He regained a portion of the heavyweight title, before losing it in 1996 to unheralded Evander Holyfield by an 11th round TKO. Prior to that fight, Tyson had called out Holyfield, saying, “I want to eat your children!” but in their 1997 rematch it was Holyfield himself that he snacked on. In a move that earned Tyson worldwide condemnation, the bought ended when he was disqualified for biting off part of Holyfield’s ear.

In 2002, Tyson fought for a championship again at age 35, but his mystique of invincibility was gone, and he lost by knockout to Lennox Lewis. Tyson retired from professional boxing in 2006 after he was knocked out in consecutive matches against Danny Williams and Kevin McBride.

Tyson declared bankruptcy in 2003, despite receiving over $30 million for several of his fights and $300 million during his career.

An outrageous, larger-than-life character, Tyson is an example of a truly tragic man-child. Born in Brooklyn, New York, in a crime-ridden neighborhood, Tyson had already been arrested 38 times by the age of 13. He ended up at the Tryon School for Boys in Johnstown, New York. It was at the school that Bobby Stewart, a juvenile detention center counselor and former boxer, discovered Tyson’s emerging boxing ability. Stewart considered Tyson to be an outstanding fighter and trained him for a few months before introducing him to Cus D’Amato, who became the mentor and father figure Tyson had never had, going so far even as to literally adopted the troubled teen and transformed him into a champion.

It was upon D’Amato’s death that Tyson lost focus and the man-teen antics took hold of his life. And like I said, this is a sad tale, reminiscent of a Greek tragedy; but then again, on a more humorous note, if D’Amato had been immortal, we would never have had the chance to laugh our asses off at Iron Mike’s retarded comments, repeated run-ins with the law or his foolish face tattoo, let alone his riotous role in the blockbuster comedy The Hangover.

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7. Willie Nelson

“I remember when dime bags cost a dime. … And you know how much condoms cost back then? … I don’t know… We never used ‘em!”

To say that Willie Nelson enjoys smoking marijuana would be like saying Silvio Berlusconi (see #5) enjoys underage vajayjay — It would be the understatement of the millennia. The country singer-songwriter, author, poet and activist has been getting stoned every day now for almost 80 years. It should come as no surprise, then, that the pop culture icon, who achieved his greatest fame during the outlaw country movement of the 1970s, has had numerous run-ins with the law, as well as the IRS.

As my father once told me (he did Willie’s taxes and eventually dropped him as a client): “How can you expect a guy like that to keep accurate records? Hell, he uses his receipts as rolling papers!” In fact, Willie was just arrested on November 26, 2010 by federal Border Patrol agents at a checkpoint in Sierra Blanca, Texas, after they seized six ounces of pot off his tour bus. If convicted, the 77-year-old country legend could face extended jail time — the offense carries a minimum sentence of 180 days in jail and a maximum sentence of two years plus a $10,000 fine.

Willie Nelson’s distinctive music and other social and political activities often take a backseat to his pop culture public image (firmly grounded in the acknowledged reality of his life) – that of a musical living legend, long-time marijuana-smoking, back tax-owing, biodiesel-burning, musical outlaw who changed country music forever. And although Nelson is about as responsible as an 8-year-old on Christmas, it can’t be denied that he has still managed to transcend pop culture icon status to the point where he is widely recognized as an American icon.

6. Charlie Sheen

They don’t call him “The Ma-Sheen” for nothing!

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Carlos Irwin Estevez (born September 3, 1965), known professionally as Charlie Sheen, is the son of legendary actor Martin Sheen and brother of Brat Pack punch line Emilio Estevez. Like his father and brother before him, Charlie began acting at an early age and soon found major success, landing lead roles in such iconic films as Platoon and Wall Street, as well as comedies including Major League and the Hot Shots! movies. But it was in the tabloids that Sheen truly became a star, thanks to his hard-partying, poon-hounding and, of course, the time he accidentally shot his then-fiancée Kelly Preston in the arm… and that was just the beginning of the man-teen madness.

In 1995, the same year he married Donna Peele, Sheen was named as one of many clients who visited brothels owned by Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss. Sheen’s long-term relationship with former pornographic actress Ginger Lynn in the late 1990s also garnered much media attention, as did his involvement with former pornographic actress Heather Hunter.

On May 20, 1998, Sheen tried cocaine through a syringe, accidentally giving himself an overdose. He was hospitalized, but discharged from the hospital soon afterward. His father Martin issued a public appeal for fans to pray for him and reported him for violation of parole. A warrant was issued for his arrest, and Sheen was sent to rehab. But did that slow him down? Hell no!

Sheen quickly rebounded by transitioning from film to television, first by replacing Michael J. Fox on Spin City, and then starring as Charlie Harper on Two and a Half Men—the most watched comedy on television. Moreover, on June 15, 2002, he married smoking hot actress Denise Richards, with whom he fathered two daughters (who, if there is such a thing as karma, will grow up to be great big sluts).

Of course, even with newfound success, Charlie could never fully be rid of The Ma-Sheen. In March 2005, while she was still pregnant with their daughter Lola, Richards filed for divorce from Sheen, accusing him of abusing drugs and alcohol and threatening her with violence.

After a brief stint in rehab, Charlie got a third chance with a now third wife, Brooke Mueller, whom he married on May 20, 2008. But still, sure enough, The Ma-Sheen returned to ruin that union as well, with Mueller having him arrested on Christmas Day 2009 for domestic violence.

Needless to say, this didn’t prevent Charlie from inking a new mega-deal with CBS for $1.88 million per episode. And naturally, The Ma-Sheen celebrated the humongous contract by being arrested on October 26, 2010 for causing $7,000 in damages to his room at the Plaza Hotel while in the midst of an alleged cocaine- and alcohol-fueled breakdown that also lead to porn star Capri Anderson being found locked in a bathroom.

5. Silvio Berlusconi

Silvio Berlusconi may be the 74-year-old Prime Minister of Italy, but he sure as sh*t doesn’t act like it. To say he loves the ladies would be the understatement of the millennia. Berlusconi behaves more like an 18-year-old frat boy with an endless supply of roofies than he does a senior citizen in control of a country.

How do you explain the 17-year-old second-generation immigrant who frequented the prime minister’s parties? And who could forget the allegations that his state jet was used for such grandiose functions as delivering weed to his Sardinian villa? And try as he might to insist the phrase “bunga bunga” was just an expression he used while telling jokes, Berlusconi’s party game is now infamous – and not for its humorous potential. In the online Urban Dictionary, bunga bunga is now defined as an “erotic ritual which involves a powerful leader and several naked women.” Now that’s a true sign of success. And Berlusconi’s far from finished.

Just recently, on November 28, 2010, a self-described “escort” said that the Premier personally invited her to two parties at his villas where young, foreign women were plentiful (as was the Viagra, I presume). Nadia Macri, 28, told the press that she believed many of the women – Brazilians and Russians mostly – were minors but didn’t know for sure since they didn’t talk amongst themselves.

The endless stream of allegations lobbed at Berlusconi has fueled a political crisis that has brought the Italian government to an upcoming no-confidence vote that could find young Silvio forced to sit in the corner.

4. Vladimir Putin

What young boy doesn’t like to pretend they’re an action-star? Running around in the woods, dressed like a commando, imagining that you’re killing “hostiles” is a staple of male adolescence. But as we grow up, playtime gives way to the realities of manhood… that is unless you’re Vladimir Putin.

It’s no secret that Russia’s Prime Minister Vladimir Putin likes to uphold his machismo image with various publicity stunts, photo ops and hilarious headlines. (Even action-star Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn’t get headlines like his, and he’s also sitting in a powerful seat.) From tagging dangerous animals, to stopping wildfires, to playing half-naked with guns on vacation, Putin may not be the most popular guy in the world, but he sure is one of the most interesting. Hell, he’s even released a video, entitled “Let’s Learn Judo with Vladimir Putin,” thus fulfilling the fantasies of veritable dozens of gay martial arts KGB bare-breasted fishing freaks around the world.

3. Richard Branson

British entrepreneur, billionaire and showman Sir Richard Branson is living proof that money can do more than merely buy you happiness. Apparently, boatloads of cash can also prevent you from growing up.

The British industrialist, best known for his Virgin Group of over 400 companies, had his first successful business venture at age 16, publishing a magazine called Student. In 1970, he set up an audio record mail-order business. In 1972, he opened a chain of record stores, Virgin Records, later known as Virgin Megastores. Branson’s Virgin brand grew rapidly during the 1980s, as he set up Virgin Atlantic Airways and expanded the Virgin Records music label.

As the 212th richest person in the world, according to Forbes’ 2010 list of billionaires, with an estimated net worth of approximately $4.0 billion, Branson sets himself apart from his contemporaries by sharing many of the same traits as another successful, albeit fictional, man-teen – Eastbound and Down’s Kenny Powers. That’s right, folks. “La Flama Blanca” and Sir Richard both have an affinity for jet skis, loose women and naked water sports.

To top it all off, in the 1970’s, Branson purchased the previously uninhabited Necker Island in the Caribbean and transformed it into his own private Xanadu. But unlike Citizen Kane’s Charles Foster Kane, Sir Richard never has to worry about being alone.

2. Howard Hughes

What young boy doesn’t like to dress up in disguises? And conversely, what grown man would ever take to donning disguises? The answers: None… and Howard Hughes.

Howard Robard Hughes, Jr. (December 24, 1905 – April 5, 1976) was an American aviator, engineer, industrialist, film producer, film director, philanthropist, one of the wealthiest people in the world and a friggin’ nut-job who wore disguises and became such a recluse later in life that upon his death a whirlwind of speculation swirled about whether or not he had actually died, leading to a number of books on the strange subject.

Hughes gained prominence from the late 1920’s as a maverick film producer, making big-budget and often controversial films like Hell’s Angels, Scarface and The Outlaw. As one of the most influential aviators in history, Hughes set multiple world air-speed records, built the Hughes H-1 Racer and H-4 “Hercules” (better known to history as the “Spruce Goose”) aircraft, and acquired and expanded Trans World Airlines. But Hughes is best remembered for his eccentric, ultra-reclusive behavior later in life. (Notice how when you’re rich, you’re eccentric; but when you’re poor, you’re just plain crazy.) Eventually, things got so bad that he only had his hair and fingernails trimmed once a year.

1. Michael Jackson

Michael Joseph Jackson (August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009) was a man of many talents. He was a recording artist, dancer, singer/songwriter, pop icon, titan of industry, philanthropist and racial chameleon. His contribution to music, dance and fashion, along with a much-publicized personal life, made him a global figure in popular culture for over four decades. The relentless beatings he received at the hands of his father, Joe Jackson, helped make the “King of Pop” the most successful man that didn’t grow up. I mean, c’mon, the guy not only had a pet monkey named “Bubbles” and his own amusement park aptly named “Never Never Land,” but also he played with kids… a bit too much if you ask me.